Every piece of writing, no matter what it's about or how long it is, has a life cycle made up of different stages of drafting and revising. During this term in Writer's Toolbox, we learned how to apply techniques to our writing at each stage, how to inspire ourselves to write, and many different rules for writing. For this Action Project, our goal was to choose a piece that we had written over the course to revise. I decided on one of the pieces I wrote for an in-class writing prompt, to write the origin story of an unusual object. We then followed different instructions each day of class to revise the piece and make sure that it is the best it can be. In this project, you can see where the piece started, how I changed it, and the final product. I hope you enjoy!
Day 2: Caterpillar Stage
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| Original Writing Piece, MDS (September 11, 2018). |
Transcript of Original Piece:
Very rarely do we find objects from other dimensions, but when we do, they most often come from alternate dimensions very similar to ours. Using this information, we can assume we, or things like humans, exist in other worlds. This particular object has been hypothesized to come from some sort of transportation, maybe like a car? Or something similar? Regardless, it is very impressive to find such a complete material. Typically, we find tiny pieces of cloth, but most often, piles of dust. Before we can attempt to travel to other dimensions, we must find out all we can, through objects like these, about the journey & the other side.
Day 1: Egg Stage
Describe where you were when you started writing this piece & what was on your mind.
I wrote this short story during class, during a writing prompt that we were assigned. The prompt was to choose a random, weird object from someone in the room, and to write its origin story. At the time, I was feeling very lost and confused about my future, especially about college. I wanted to write this story with a very far-away, mysterious feeling to it, just like I wanted to be at the time.
What kind of sentences did you use? Are there other patterns you notice?
What kind of sentences did you use? Are there other patterns you notice?
It’s written in a very colloquial way, almost like dialogue, but with only one speaker. The writing is also filled with details that are supposed to invoke a kind of scientific or research feel. When I was writing this, I was trying to create a scene that feels like a school presentation, or a field trip to a museum.
What themes do you notice in this piece?
This piece invokes feelings of discovery, mystery, and a sense of loss. I tried to translate the feelings I was having at the time into a fantasy, sci-fi world to make them feel less real and farther away. This piece, hopefully, will help other people who have felt the same as I have.
What were your intentions for this piece? Where do you see this piece going?
I originally just wanted to write a piece that was compelling and almost confusing, something that would make you think. Eventually, I might expand this into a longer short story to try and create more of a character to the speaker instead of just a blank face speaking. I hope that the themes I created in this story come through and relate to people who have felt the same way that I have.
What themes do you notice in this piece?
This piece invokes feelings of discovery, mystery, and a sense of loss. I tried to translate the feelings I was having at the time into a fantasy, sci-fi world to make them feel less real and farther away. This piece, hopefully, will help other people who have felt the same as I have.
What were your intentions for this piece? Where do you see this piece going?
I originally just wanted to write a piece that was compelling and almost confusing, something that would make you think. Eventually, I might expand this into a longer short story to try and create more of a character to the speaker instead of just a blank face speaking. I hope that the themes I created in this story come through and relate to people who have felt the same way that I have.
For the caterpillar stage, our goal was to take the piece in a new direction or let it “explore the garden.” I decided to work on building the other side of the story, or the other dimension. I wanted to have similar attitudes between the two characters, while still keeping them unique and easy to tell apart.
Very rarely do we find objects from other dimensions, but when we do, they most often come from alternate dimensions very similar to ours (or at least as close as we can guess). Using this information, we can assume we, or things similar to humans, exist in other worlds. This particular object has been hypothesized to come from some sort of transportation: maybe like a car? Or something similar? Regardless, it is very impressive to find such a complete material. Typically, we find tiny pieces of cloth, but most often, piles of dust. Before we can attempt to travel to other dimensions, we must find out all we can, through objects like these, about the journey & the other side.
Working in a zeld shop often means losing pieces to other dimensions with no warning. Sure, it’s annoying, but it’s all part of the job. This job was never my dream, just like most kids growing up in the Inter-Dimensional Travel Era, I always saw myself flying through wormholes, exploring dangerous opposite worlds. But here I am, like most people with all of the dreams and no real-life skills, working in a zeld shop. I don’t actually mind it as much as I thought I would, but working with the customers really sucks. Every day, rich couples stream into the shop, dropping billions on a vacation or a business trip to one of the safer, pre-approved dimensions, ready to relax in a luxury velvet-filled zeld that would take me approximately 7 years of non-stop work to be able to afford (I know, I calculated it once). The clients also have no idea how to treat the materials, often tripping over them, sometimes even sending them shooting into one of the many wormholes around the shop, then refusing to replace them. Hey, it’s not my fault if you can’t walk like a normal person! Anyway, back to work. I have to get this zeld finished for this idiot couple who wants to visit the dumbest dimension, Earth. I still can’t wrap my head around the fact that they would want to visit those idiots, who can’t even figure out where the wormholes are, but hey, at least they tip well.
Very rarely do we find objects from other dimensions, but when we do, they most often come from alternate dimensions very similar to ours (or at least as close as we can guess). Using this information, we can assume we, or things similar to humans, exist in other worlds. This particular object has been hypothesized to come from some sort of transportation: maybe like a car? Or something similar? Regardless, it is very impressive to find such a complete material. Typically, we find tiny pieces of cloth, but most often, piles of dust. Before we can attempt to travel to other dimensions, we must find out all we can, through objects like these, about the journey & the other side.
Working in a zeld shop often means losing pieces to other dimensions with no warning. Sure, it’s annoying, but it’s all part of the job. This job was never my dream, just like most kids growing up in the Inter-Dimensional Travel Era, I always saw myself flying through wormholes, exploring dangerous opposite worlds. But here I am, like most people with all of the dreams and no real-life skills, working in a zeld shop. I don’t actually mind it as much as I thought I would, but working with the customers really sucks. Every day, rich couples stream into the shop, dropping billions on a vacation or a business trip to one of the safer, pre-approved dimensions, ready to relax in a luxury velvet-filled zeld that would take me approximately 7 years of non-stop work to be able to afford (I know, I calculated it once). The clients also have no idea how to treat the materials, often tripping over them, sometimes even sending them shooting into one of the many wormholes around the shop, then refusing to replace them. Hey, it’s not my fault if you can’t walk like a normal person! Anyway, back to work. I have to get this zeld finished for this idiot couple who wants to visit the dumbest dimension, Earth. I still can’t wrap my head around the fact that they would want to visit those idiots, who can’t even figure out where the wormholes are, but hey, at least they tip well.
Day 3: Chrysalis Phase
For today's revision, we worked with a partner who looked over our work and added their own feedback and ideas.
My partner suggested formatting my piece more like a journal or diary entry to give it more context, and to break up some of the longer sentences into smaller pieces to make it more clear. She also wanted me to be a bit more clear with the theme, but she liked how it reads like a train of thought. She said it was interesting how I made the 2nd character very relatable, even though they are clearly from another world. I will definitely be applying her suggestions to make my piece more readable and understandable.
Day 4: Butterfly Stage
The Final Product!
Notes for school talk, 10/11/2039
Very rarely do we find objects from other dimensions, but when we do, they most often come from alternate dimensions very similar to ours (or at least as close as we can guess). Using this information, we can assume we, or things similar to humans, exist in other worlds. This particular object has been hypothesized to come from some sort of transportation: maybe like a car? Or something similar? Regardless, it is very impressive to find such a complete material. Typically, we find tiny pieces of cloth, but most often, piles of dust. Before we can attempt to travel to other dimensions, we must find out all we can, through objects like these, about the journey & the other side.
Journal Entry #93- year 2,039
Working in a zeld shop often means losing pieces to other dimensions with no warning. Sure, it’s annoying, but it’s all part of the job. This job was never my dream, just like most kids growing up in the Inter-Dimensional Travel Era, I always saw myself flying through wormholes, exploring dangerous opposite worlds. But here I am, like most people with all of the dreams and no real-life skills, working in a zeld shop. I don’t actually mind it as much as I thought I would, but working with the customers really sucks. Every day, rich couples stream into the shop, dropping billions on a vacation or a business trip to one of the safer, pre-approved dimensions, ready to relax in a luxury velvet-filled zeld that would take me approximately 7 years of non-stop work to be able to afford (I know, I calculated it once). The clients also have no idea how to treat the materials, often tripping over them, sometimes even sending them shooting into one of the many wormholes around the shop, then refusing to replace them. Hey, it’s not my fault if you can’t walk like a normal person! Anyway, back to work. I have to get this zeld finished for this idiot couple who wants to visit the dumbest dimension, Earth. I still can’t wrap my head around the fact that they would want to visit those idiots, who can’t even figure out where the wormholes are, but hey, at least they tip well.
For today's revision, we worked with a partner who looked over our work and added their own feedback and ideas.
My partner suggested formatting my piece more like a journal or diary entry to give it more context, and to break up some of the longer sentences into smaller pieces to make it more clear. She also wanted me to be a bit more clear with the theme, but she liked how it reads like a train of thought. She said it was interesting how I made the 2nd character very relatable, even though they are clearly from another world. I will definitely be applying her suggestions to make my piece more readable and understandable.
Day 4: Butterfly Stage
The Final Product!
Notes for school talk, 10/11/2039
Very rarely do we find objects from other dimensions, but when we do, they most often come from alternate dimensions very similar to ours (or at least as close as we can guess). Using this information, we can assume we, or things similar to humans, exist in other worlds. This particular object has been hypothesized to come from some sort of transportation: maybe like a car? Or something similar? Regardless, it is very impressive to find such a complete material. Typically, we find tiny pieces of cloth, but most often, piles of dust. Before we can attempt to travel to other dimensions, we must find out all we can, through objects like these, about the journey & the other side.
Journal Entry #93- year 2,039
Working in a zeld shop often means losing pieces to other dimensions with no warning. Sure, it’s annoying, but it’s all part of the job. This job was never my dream, just like most kids growing up in the Inter-Dimensional Travel Era, I always saw myself flying through wormholes, exploring dangerous opposite worlds. But here I am, like most people with all of the dreams and no real-life skills, working in a zeld shop. I don’t actually mind it as much as I thought I would, but working with the customers really sucks. Every day, rich couples stream into the shop, dropping billions on a vacation or a business trip to one of the safer, pre-approved dimensions, ready to relax in a luxury velvet-filled zeld that would take me approximately 7 years of non-stop work to be able to afford (I know, I calculated it once). The clients also have no idea how to treat the materials, often tripping over them, sometimes even sending them shooting into one of the many wormholes around the shop, then refusing to replace them. Hey, it’s not my fault if you can’t walk like a normal person! Anyway, back to work. I have to get this zeld finished for this idiot couple who wants to visit the dumbest dimension, Earth. I still can’t wrap my head around the fact that they would want to visit those idiots, who can’t even figure out where the wormholes are, but hey, at least they tip well.
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